Posts Tagged ‘self worth’
Can Too Much Passion Be Dangerous?
In our August 2009 newsletter (http://www.msbcoach.com/Articles.php) we addressed passion and leadership. I hope you took the time to answer the questions addressed. If you did not, here they are again:
- What am I passionate about?
- Where did I begin to lose my passion?
- Did I compromise and if so where?
- What can I do to get my passion back?
- What is the price and am I willing to pay that price?
Passion is an important part of life and is especially important in the lives of leaders; however if we are not careful our passions can be dangerous. Have you ever heard the statement, “Crimes of Passion?”
When passion is unbridled, it can become an obsession. With passion, we drive ourselves. Passion attracts others to us. An obsession, on the other hand, controls us. Leaders who are obsessed are not passionate; they are controlled and become slaves to their own compulsions thus affecting those around them.
If you lead people out of fear or control, you are working from an obsession. If you think you have passion yet look behind you and see that no one if following, you may be leading out of obsession. Obsession kills you and your team. Passion inspires you and those around you. If you find yourself in the realm of obsession rather than passion, take these steps to restore your balance:
Evaluate your obsession.
What is the root source of the obsession?
Is your obsession for personal gain or control?
List three steps you can take each day to rechannel your obsession into a passion people can follow.
Find a trusted accountability partner to hold you to these three steps.
Passion is magical. You must have it to lead. Chuck Gallozi (http://www.personal-development.com/chuck) in his article titled “Developing Passion” gave 12 steps to deepen and develop you passion. They are as follows:
1. Take responsibility. The only bad hand you have been dealt in life was dealt by you. From today, “Don’t do things half-assed,” says Hugh Young, “If a thing is worth doing at all, it’s worth doing as well as you can possibly do it. Pick out something you think is worthwhile and do it or work at it with passion. Do it with all your might.”
2. You find what you look for. Instead of looking for the bad in your job or situation, look for the good. Look for the opportunities. Search for the solutions. Look for the way.
3. Make a plan. Once you’ve found some opportunities and solutions, make a plan of action. What should you avoid doing and what should you start doing now?
4. Make a decision. Now that you have a plan, decide to act on it. Set deadlines and start following your new road map to success. Enjoy the ride.
5. Stoke the fire of passion. To keep passion’s fire burning brightly, review the day’s events in the evening. Monitor your progress. Relish your achievements and learn from your mistakes.
6. Don’t douse the flames. You want to ignite your life with passion, but be careful of burnout. Work hard, but schedule breaks, leisure, entertainment, and family time. Don’t forget to reward yourself occasionally.
7. Recharge your batteries. Make time for the gym, sports, long walks, or meditation to relieve stress, refresh you spirit, and renew your energy.
8. “Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music – the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.” (Henry Miller)
9. Take brief “awareness breaks” throughout the day to remind yourself of the joy of being alive.
10. Avoid negative people and associate with enthusiastic people.
11. Share your zest for life with others. Brighten up their day. Their warm response will reinforce your passion.
12. Take “vitamins for the mind.” That is read or listen to motivational material to keep the flames burning.
© Chuck Gallozzi
At MSBCoach, we are passionate out leadership development, coaching and building high performance teams. If you would like to talk to us about opportunities to partner with MSBCoach please contact us at: info@msbcoach.com, 804-502-4319 or visit our sites:
www.msbcoach.com or www.emergingleader.info.
We hope to hear from you!
Executive Education: Staying at the top of your game!
I have found as a former executive and now executive coach the following steps help to keep executives at the top of their game:
Re-discovering authenticity through the following steps:
- Re-visit why you do what you do
- Are you still passionate – if so, about what, if not, what needs to be done
- What are your intrinsic and extrinsic motivations
- Who really knows you and you have given permission to speak into your life
- Are you taking care of your self holistically, body, soul and spirit – what does this look like for you
- Where to you give back and expect nothing in return
- What are your own personal values – does everything you are currently doing line up with this
- How and why do you invest in others
- What are you doing to develop future leaders
- What is your leadership legacy
I have personally found there are many executives still investing in personal and organizational leadership. I believe leaders who have a vision for the future see leadership development as a necessity, not an option. I have even seen many come to the realization, I need to invest in the leaders I have left now more that ever. There is a lot of reorganization and restructuring going on. This is a perfect time to invest in yourself and your team of leaders.
We are offering the first annual Authentic Leadership Summit 2010, Oct. 14 – 15. We have strategically focused on “authenticity” and keeping the price low so executives from many different organizations can benefit. Check it out at: www.authenticleadershipsummit.com. Below are some excellent comments to this question from three of our conference speakers:
“Executives are at their best when they are able to fully claim their role as leaders through leveraging their strengths, identifying self-defeating behaviors, and truly knowing themselves.”
“Learning resilience is the most important skill for executives in this economy. When leaders are resilient they are able to carry their vision forward even in the hardest of times and inspire others to follow.”
Michelle Prosser, President – Energy Focus
“The educational needs of executives has changed a great deal since the economy imploded. There is a greater need to be with your peers to both network and learn. The extraordinary circumstances we face as executives today carry a heavy leadership burden. We need to be connected with other executives to help us understand that we are not alone in these tough times. The best source of education right now is to hear what my peers are doing to address the common challenges we face.”
David R. Phillips, CAE, RCE Chief Executive Officer
“Because of the costs associated with travel, room and board, I believe that it makes more imminent the need for “digital” or online learning. I learned recently from a local company of a solution that would readily allow for virtual classrooms. People from all over the country perhaps even the world could share a classroom experience from their home locations.”
Bill Cooper, UVA Director of Diversity
No More Cookie-Cutter Leaders
It is amazing how many books have been written on leadership. I bet I own most of them! I love to read about leadership, however, one of the things I have realized is that if I am not careful, I am trying to act out everything I am reading. I am grateful for inspiring books and role models to look up to, but the truth for all of us is that we have to know ourselves and create our own personal leadership style.
I once heard a quote that has stuck with me, “All of us are born originals, but most of us will die carbon copies”. I want to be a leader who is authentic to myself and those I lead. I love this definition of cookie-cutter from wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn, “having the same appearance, as if mass-produced”.
I don’t think any of us want to live up to that definition as a leader. I encourage you to review who you are as a leader. It is important to allow others to shape and influence you, but it is more important that you know how to apply that to who you are and who you are not.
An authentic leader is not a cookie-cutter leader, no matter how good the cook-cutter is. An authentic leader knows their personal values, where those values came from and how they apply them in their leadership. You are the only one who can determine this. No one can decide it for you. You are the only you and you are not a cookie-cutter! Each of us are one of a kind, no one else has your story.
What do you think about cookie-cutter leadership? How do you stay above the line to be authentic?
Addicted to Busy
This topic will either make total sense to you… or not. That is because if you are “bent” to have this addiction you will get it right away, and if not, as with any other addiction you just don’t get it. I am writing to those who “get it” and/or those who have to live and work with those who “get it”.
Addiction is being compulsively or physiologically dependent on something habit-forming. Busy is habit-forming. The first step with any addiction is to “own” it. I first realized I was “addicted to busy” about eight years ago. Someone said something very simple to me, “you know, you do not have to do all this, you bring it on yourself”. I found myself pondering that thought. It was not the first time I heard something like that, but it was the first time it hit home with me. I realized no matter what I do, whether it is volunteer work, doing something for my family, or job related, I had a tendency to do more than necessary. In some ways that is a good trait, but as with most strengths it can become a weakness.
I began to do some self-observation activities and discovered much of my self-worth was built upon what I accomplished, thinking busy somehow meant important and how this made me look in the eyes of others. I also realized when I didn’t want to deal with something; I would get REAL busy in another area i.e. something at home, in my marriage or another work issue. If I was busy, I should not have to deal with “it” right…? This is a poor way to measure self. As with any addiction, it is never satisfied.
I have found that it is helpful when I find myself in this place of “addicted to busy” to do the following:
- Reflect on why you need to be so busy
- Do some self-observation activities– this is where you observe what you are doing, make notes about it and later reflect on why/s to determine if it is an activity or behavior you want to continue
- What is being fulfilled inside of you by being busy?
- What is missing that you need to fill it up with “busy”?
- Set a goal that reflects valuing and feeling important without being busy – i.e. spend an hour having a conversation that has nothing to do with work or read a book for fun. I say set a goal because I suggest only setting 1 and mastering it – anymore and you are digressing back to being busy but this time with these goals
- Create accountability – tell someone you trust what you are doing, give them your goal and permission to hold you accountable
- Once you have “mastered” this one goal, go back through 1-6 and do it all over again
The beautiful thing about life is that we are always growing and learning… we never “arrive”. Aren’t you glad….?! It is a journey. Practice enjoying doing nothing – “Concentration is the ability to think about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary.” — Ray Knight
I would love to hear from you. If you have found yourself “addicted to busy” or know someone who is write in and share other ways to overcome this addiction.
A colleague of mine shared something with me regarding being “addicted to busy”. This is a quote from her daughter – the most interesting part is that she is 12 years old “A day not laughed is a day wasted, no matter how much work you got done.” Hmmm, “from the mouth of babes….” ?
