To say, “I need stress relief, quick” is almost an oxymoron, a contradiction of terms.  The very reason we are stressed in the first place is due to our “over-processed” lifestyles.  I had this epiphany, when I started research on stress relief.  The first thing I did was Google “stress relief”. Then I thought, “that is not good enough”, and typed in “quick stress relief”. That is when it hit me, simple as it sounds: we want everything fast because we have so much going on, too much.

So there I sat…. trying to figure it all out.  I have been a full-time stay at home mom, a part-time working mom, and a full-time working, single mom and yet no matter what place I find myself in life, there never seems to be enough time in the day to get it all done.  Either you will know exactly what I am talking about and read on, or you will put this down now and say, “She is crazy…..”

For you who are still reading, we must have some things in common… I think it is our cultural mindset.  No matter how much or how little there is to do, we fill our schedules and put unnecessary pressure on ourselves.  There are several types of stress we all wrestle with at some time or another.  Stressors such as finances, relationships, school, children and over-booked schedules.  However, it is my discovery that the true source of stress (at least for me) is attitude and personal traits.  Things such as:  perfectionism, ruminating, obsessing, anger, distorted thinking, type A personality, pessimism and the like.  All the other “stressors” listed above will forever be a part of our lives.  They make up the fabric of life.  If you are alive (and we both are) then we have to deal with some “stressors”.  This leaves us with the quandary, (whether we like it or not) that we must take a look in the mirror of our own souls, because the fact is, the only one you can change is yourself.

When we look at what stress does to a person, it is obvious we can not live with it for long without it affecting our physical well-being and those with whom we are in relationships.  It is true there is good stress, the low grade level that keeps us sharp, on our toes and doing our best.  I am not talking about this.  I am referring to the stress that some almost feed off of, the chronic stress, the stress that damages our bodies with depression, diabetes, hair loss, heart disease, obesity, ulcers, tooth and gum disease, sexual dysfunction and even cancer.  I recently read it is estimated more than 90% of doctor visits are from symptoms that are stress related (www.about.com:  stress management).

The truth is we have choices; we need to make healthy choices for ourselves and those we love.  There are simple things we can do to manage our stress.  The first is to lower our expectations.   Just because Bobby and Susie’s parents have them in three sports and private school does not mean we choose that – if it does not fit your finances and life-style. As Nancy Regan would say, “Just say no”, be realistic.  Number two, be in control, decisions are up to you: if you can’t do it, or simply don’t want to, say no, and people will respect you in the long run.  Three, choose to be happy: happiness is a choice.  I could write an entire article on the choice of happiness.  Number four, have a sense of humor.  It is said “A merry heart does good like a medicine”.  Five, let go of anger. You can’t change it anyway, so remember the only one you can change is yourself.  Six, control your thoughts.  Easier said than done, right… but practice makes perfect, take your thoughts captive.  When you find your mind focusing on the negative, choose to redirect your thoughts, write down all the things you are thankful for and reflect on those thoughts every day. Remember, as you think, so you become.  Seven, de-clutter: messy space makes anyone stressed.  Eight, aromatherapy. Candles or incense are not very expensive, so light one when you get home.  Nine, peaceful music calms the savage beast.  And last but not least, number ten is exercise.  Exercise releases built up physical and emotional tension, it releases endorphins (the “happy-hormones”) into the body, it raises self-esteem and overall improves quality of life.

These are all simple choices you can make to relieve stress in your life.  Our lives will never be “stress free” but the truth is, we would not want them to be.  A little stress is good, too much is polar opposite.  I hope you will take these things to heart and apply at least some of them to help you have a more peaceful inner-being, home and family.  I was recently in Jamaica (on my honeymoon) and remembered one of the tour guides saying, “Here in Jamaica, we don’t have problems, only situations.”  Slightly change your perspective and you will be surprised how different everything looks from another angle.  The last thought is a quote from Johann Wolfgang VonGoethe, “Things that matter the most should never be at the mercy of things that matter the least.”

Happy life to you! – Michelle